Saturday, December 08, 2007

Tell Me If This Ain't Funny

The Filipino Ingenuity…Err…What?

A man who was happily sipping his cup of café mocha as he came out from an infamous coffee shop was distracted by the sight of two men who were working on the road side in a residential area in South Bay in California.

One man was busy digging a hole on the ground, and as soon as he finishes digging about a foot-deep hole, the other man immediately fills the hole up with dirt. The man was really puzzled so he asked the two men what exactly they were up to. It turned out that those two men were just hired to work overseas from the Philippines.

Curious Guy: Can you explain to me what you are trying to do? It doesn’t look like you are having fun.

PINOY1: (Trying so hard to express himself in the English language). Well man, you know man, we just got hired man. This is our first job in the U.S., and you know man, we do well. We do our best.

Curious Guy: (Still confused). But what exactly are you doing boring a hole in the ground and the other one filling it up as soon as it’s done?

PINOY2: We are on a contract. There were three of us, Filipino workers. But today, the one who is assigned to plant the trees is absent because he’s sick, that’s why we just had to do what we can do without him. We just can’t stand here and do nothing. We have a job to finish!

Stranger Than Fiction: The Case of My Missing Jewelry

Around this time last year, I lost a piece of jewelry, a gold bracelet that is worth more or less $300. The strange thing was, I put it with my other jewelries in an easy access cabinet in my room, and the rest of my jewelries were there and remained untouched. At first I was thinking that perhaps one of my kids played with it and probably misplaced it around the house. So I let the days go by, hoping that somehow the missing jewelry will be recovered somewhere in the house.

Then I started getting suspicious with one of my house helpers because she was acting strange. She was actually the most responsible and most trusted of three nannies that I had, and suddenly she wouldn’t even look me in the eyes when we talked.

In the Philippines, it is commonplace to resort to black magic and witchcraft and things that are considered taboo and superstitious in this modern world. So it is not a surprise to hear stories about skulls and magic oils or cards and beads that has some kind of spell or trick that can help solve a mystery.

I was particularly curious as to the veracity of these things so what perfect opportunity for me to venture into these unchartered waters.

Did you even hear about the saint that has no mercy? They call him, St. “Merciless” Anthony or simply put, St. Anthony—Without Mercy. People believe that he is the helper of people who have been robbed of their material possessions. According to tales if you seek help from this saint whatever things that are stolen from you will be returned or else the thief will lose his sanity. In Cebu, there was this place wherein you just find these believers and they do practice the art of seeking help through this kind of worship. I went to the place, all on my own and knowing that it was in the slums, of course I had to look as rugged as I can, knowing that in that place not only worship and black magic abounds but some gangsters and drugs as well, just to give you a clue to where I went. I met this old lady. She was all relaxed while she spread her deck of cards out in a piece of concrete in an open roadside spot. Her name was Antonia—the female breed for Anthony. She had this strange look about her. She looked like she was left in time. At first her face really looked scary with all the black spots that accented her old wrinkly face. She then asked me, “What are you here for? What did you lose?” I thought well, you’re the witch with the tricks, tell me! But it was easier to just fess up about my lost jewelry. She then told me that I have several options and of course it came with a price. She said that whoever was my suspect, I can just write her name on a piece of her custom-made paper and she’s going to feed it to her treasured skull inside a chest and the thief will---DIE! So I thought, OMG, I don’t want to be a murderer or an accessory to it so I told her NO. Then she told me to just write the name of my suspect as an addendum to a prayer and she was going to say the prayer every night for the next 7 days and it will cause unrest to the thief and possibly drive her insane. She said that her prayer was so effective that as soon as she starts the seven-day ritual the thief will be awaken in the middle of the night and will hear strange murmurs from the skull that she hid in a chest and she worshipped to. So I thought to myself, wow, I can’t believe that in this day of advance technology, these practices are still thriving. Out of curiosity and I was there anyway, I opted to take choice B. Antonia, the witch doctor then spread the deck of cards one more time and asked me to take two cards. Whatever numbers were on the card that I took represented the amount I needed to pay to her for her service. Luckily it was just two figures in Philippines pesos. I left and really had doubts about the truth to the effectiveness of the practice. In fact, I came as a skeptic, and went home even more in doubt, but I had a unique experience.

Then the next few days I was just paying close attention to my aides in the house and see if there was any visible manifestation of black magic spell. Then I noticed that one of my house help who was the suspect was obviously not sleeping well at night with her red tired eyes but I didn’t confront her because I didn’t have proof that she did it.

When I went to see my pedicurist I casually shared the incident. She then told me that she knew of a spiritual psychic who can shed some light on what happened. She said that the woman she is referring to had solved several similar mysteries in the past of missing stuff. So off we went to see her the following night.

As we entered the house and met her, I was able to sense a feeling of lightness around her. I was able to feel that the lady had some honest sense in her unlike other fake psychics or spiritists. So we played and picked the cards, then right away she gave me a very fitting description of the person who took my jewelry. I was amazed because I didn’t even tell her anything about who were the people in my household and how they looked but somehow her description was right up the nose. She said that she will pray for her to feel the guilt and return the stolen item to me. This time, I was sure that indeed my jewelry was intentionally and willfully taken from where it was kept.

Things progressed in the house and indeed, I was able to feel the suspect’s guilt even more. This time, she would no longer talk to me and if I wanted her to do an errand she did it quickly and disappeared right away as if she couldn’t even stand to be in the same room with me.

A week later, I went to Bohol for my Christmas vacation. I confided to my sister about the missing jewelry. She then told me that they knew of someone who can help me recover my missing piece and so we decided to see him but deep within my heart I was resigned to the fact that whatever was gone, was not meant for me. It was gone for good.

Then I met this healer who was probably in his mid 20s. They told me that he had the power to tame people. In fact, his second wife was a tall, fair-skinned, beautiful Filipina that you would not even imagine to have wanted to live a simple life with a quack doctor in the mountains of Bohol. They told me that this guy was exceptionally gifted and he can clearly decode to you in a picturesque outline who took what from you.

As soon as we arrived in this small shanty in a little hilly part in Bohol, we sensed a really different world that was way too domesticated and probably a bit crude fit for a life away from the hustle and bustle of the city. But mind you, these people still have cell phones. I had my cell phone too, just in case I need to call backup. No, my point is, in that place, the contrast of the modern world and the unsophisticated life in the mountains is eye-catching.

Anyways, we sat for a few minutes and waited for the guy to come out. As soon as he came out, immediately he told me what I lost. He even described in full detail what color it was, and how thick it was. I was baffled and surprised because we never said anything—not a word to him. But my sister told me that the guy was really blessed with something that was supernatural. I tell you, I had never been so completely amazed in my whole life. But this guy really brought the house down. This guy had one thing, one thing that you and I would want to have in this high-tech age. And it’s one thing that is probably more sophisticated than any modern gadget that we have these days. I’d compare it to a display screen or a monitor that you can mentally influence to graphically display a vivid image of things that you want to see. You know what he had?

He had this little bottle with oil inside. The oil rises with the rising of the tide, I was told. So if it’s high tide the bottle is filled with oil. If it’s low tide, the bottle is half empty. And that bottle was probably his most effective weapon in doing what he did best--healing and solving mysteries. With just a drip of that oil, sick people from different places who came to be healed were cured. And amazingly without replenishing the oil in the bottle, the bottle never ran dry. According to tell tales, he once preempted a second attempt to burglarize a home by giving the victim a forewarning based on what he visualized in his bottle of oil.

Then the healer went on to tell me that the thief is a short lady, with a stout frame, and she has straight hair at shoulder’s length. And boy, there was only one person in my household that could fit the description that he gave, perfectly. She was my once most trusted aide and now my suspect.

He didn’t stop there. He told me that if I can find that blue overnight bag with a red trim and zip opening, my bracelet is concealed under a layer of folded shirts. As he said this with utter certainty and confidence, he was looking at his bottle as if he had closed-circuit TV that broadcast the information that he just gave me. Right away, I felt blood rushed through my entire being. It was like finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I was glad I had my cell phone at that time, and so I immediately called up my other sister who was in the house in Cebu and told her to find the bag. You could hear me repeating the description that the healer gave. They tried to locate the bag but they couldn’t open one big luggage that had a lock on it and my suspect was nowhere. So I told them to just abandon the pursuit of recovering my missing jewelry. For me, it was enough to know that people that I entrusted with so much confidence are after all, not worthy of it.

I immediately told my sister to send all maids home for a Christmas vacation. My ulterior motive was to finally clear the coast. I didn’t want to go back to Cebu and deal with the issue of confronting the culprit. I just want to let go of the incident. My suspect at that time seemed like she was at her wit’s end. In fact, the other people in the house in Cebu were telling me that while we were in Bohol the maid kept staring on thin air and was obviously overwhelmed with guilt and didn’t know how to atone for the wrong that she had done. To me her being without peace was enough punishment for the wrong that she did.

I was convinced that she did it, but whatever it was, something was stopping her from returning the item to me. It could be the desperate need for money or it could be the big ego that surpasses all form of shame or guilt.

Then my brother knew about the incident and he reacted strongly to it. In fact, without my knowledge, he himself went to another spiritist/healer in Cebu. According to him, once he got to the healer’s house immediately the healer knew what he was there for. The healer held his pulse, then told him that he was asthmatic as well, and amazingly enough, it was true. When my brother directed his attention to the missing jewelry and asked the spiritist who did it, meaning who stole my jewelry, the lady immediately told him that it was someone who is a not-so-distant relative. That really struck a chord with my brother because what he was just told was absolutely true. The maid’s middle name is the same as my last name. (In the Philippines people take their mother’s maiden name as their middle name, so the middle name always bears some kind of relative consanguinity or blood relationship. By the middle name alone, you can tell if a person is somehow an expanded part of your family tree.) The lady told my brother that the one who took it already pawned the item at a local pawnshop and that she (the thief) has no plans of returning it, no matter what.

My brother was so furious that as soon as he found out, he immediately wanted to confront the suspect, but I pacified him, telling him that even if all fingers are pointing towards her, still we didn’t have any solid evidence to support our suspicion. So I told him to just forget it, because all material things in this world just come and go anyway. It’s our dignity and honor that stays with us even when we’re gone. Besides, being a thief for a person and being dishonest is truly a curse—and it’s enough punishment.

The experience drew me to acknowledge the existence of unseen forces in human life that were clearly manifested in the strange coincidences. It’s almost as if those three people were looking at the same crystal ball even if they were geographically distanced being located in different parts of the Philippine islands.

I didn’t even think that remnants of black magic or witchcraft still exist in this modern age. But quite frankly, I was proven wrong. Good or bad, the experience really was an eye-opener for me. There are things in this modern day that make you think with reckless abandon that technology is in and old practice is taboo. But guess what? There are things in old practices that are much harder to decode than a well-written programming syntax or a precisely programmed integrated chip designed to perform complex as well as extraordinary functions. Truly, we cannot disregard or deny the fact that technology at its best still co-mingles and breeds with the purest form of supernatural existence in some unheard of corners of this planet.

That healer—I’d probably refer to him as the guy with a crappy cell phone but with a very sophisticated bottle of oil.

Still to this day, I haven’t stopped figuring out the obvious puzzle surrounding the existence of supernatural beings. Hard as I tried, there are no explanations for why some things are, the way they are. There’s only room for acceptance that no matter how advanced technology can get, you can still be taken aback by something so pure, and just SUPERNATURAL.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Heating Up Your Home This Cold Season

Winter is here and in some parts of the country temperatures have dropped to freezing or even below freezing point. Without adequate heating inside your home it could be uncomfortable to move around the house and do stuff. You probably would just want to stay in one spot where you can comfortably warm yourself up under a nice cozy blanket.

If you look around the stores there are actually several portable heaters that you can get to heat up your home. They come in different shapes and sizes and they are normally selling below $100 or even below $50. The problem with these portable heaters though is the fact that they could be a fire hazard because they suck in too much electricity which can really pose a problem especially if your house wiring is not updated or you still have old non-standardized electrical setup in your home. These portable heaters though small in size can consume as much as 1500 watts per heater. Imagine fifteen 100-watt bulbs all lit up at the same time. Take three heaters and run them at the same time and bam!...your fuse will blow up or your circuit breaker will trip off especially if you are using other appliances at the same time. You could be lucky if you have a circuit breaker in your house. What if you don't and you live in a house wherein the wires used are old and not meant for high-powered appliances? That's where the risk of fire comes in because the amount of electricity pulled out from the source is too much more than what the wires can handle, thus, causing the wiring to overheat and who knows what's going to happen next? Imagine small pipes with a strong surge of water pressure going through it. It can't withstand the pressure, thus, the pipes burst open. Do you get my point?
Don't take the risk especially if you don't have a circuit breaker in your home. Fires triggered by faults in electrical wiring can easily spread throughout the house in seconds.

In our case, we don't use our central heating unit because it's too much to heat up the entire house. Instead, we opted to use several portable heaters for the different rooms. When we had two 1500-watt heaters everything was fine but as soon as we added one more heater of the same power rating the circuit immediately shut off. Power overload--that's what it was. So now I was left with a dilemma as to how I can keep my room warm enough for me to sleep comfortably at night.

After searching the internet I found another form of heating that uses low electric consumption and doesn't dry up the air unlike typical heaters. What I found was Econo-Heat panel heaters. It's basically just a panel made from a heat conductive material that you can mount on your wall and it uses less than 500 watts. I experimented with it and I'm actually happy with the result. I replaced one of my portable heaters with two panel heaters that I installed in two separate rooms. What this heater does is, it dissipates a low but constant heat while it's ON. And that heat really keeps the room at a comfortable temperature. Besides the heat that is emitted from it does not really suck up the moisture of the air because the amount of heat dissipated is at a constant low. You have the option of plugging it through a timer so it automatically turns ON and OFF at certain times of the day or you can also plug it through an automatic temperature sensor so it does the same thing once a desired temperature is set. This panel heater can be easily mounted on the wall but make sure that you put it in a strategic location away from windows or openings with cold draft coming in. It is best to put it on the part of the room which is properly insulated so the heat can bounce off across the room. It is best if you make sure that your room is properly sealed from small openings where cold air can come in. Insulate. Insulate. Insulate your room properly. If you have a bigger room you will most likely need more than one wall panel heater. Keep in mind also that when you install these panel heaters, you don't put them too high because heat rises.

These panel heaters are a little more expensive than the portable ones that you see around the stores but they could be more cost-effective in the long run. And perhaps they maybe the only solution you can get if your household electrical circuit cannot handle too much electrical load.

I also needed another portable heater for my computer room because it can really get so cold at times so I shopped around for a low-power heater. Luckily, I found one at Sharper Image and it only takes 150 watts of power. It's good for its size but you have to keep it really close to you because you cannot expect it to heat up the entire room. They refer to it as the big small heater because it really is able to dissipate enough heat for its small size enough to keep you warm.

There are other heaters in the market and they claim to be safe, economical, efficient and effective but they are way too expensive at more than $400 for a unit.

For now I'm happy and warm with my choice of heating our home during this really cold season. I hope you are warm and happy too.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Geek Switch: Migrating Files from an Old PC to A New One

You’ve decided that it’s time to upgrade your computing life by getting a new computer to replace your old sluggish machine. Now what?

Most of us cannot detach ourselves from all the files and programs that we have in our old computers and chances are, we will be multi-tasking between the old and the new computers which is actually very unproductive. You want to get rid of the old computer but you do not know how to integrate your old programs, files and settings to the new machine.

There are several things that you can do. You can transfer your files to your new computer using built-in utilities that come with your OS (operating system) or you can download free utility software that will help you migrate your files for free or you can just cut the chase and buy a utility software that will do the job effectively for you.

But first before you even decide on moving your old files to the new computer consider the tools that you need in order to establish a path between the two computers for the transfer of files. You have several options. First you can connect the two computers through your network (assuming you have your existing network), by connecting both computers to your network router’s Ethernet ports. The second method is to connect the two computers using the serial/parallel ports and of course you need a serial/parallel cable, but this connection would provide the slowest data transfer between the two computers. The third and the fastest method is to connect the two computers through the USB ports and of course, you need a dedicated data-transfer USB link which is available at most computer accessory outlets. Another method can be performed by utilizing external storage media that can hold ample amount of data.

To establish a path between the two computers you need to connect them using a data-transfer cable that you can plug into the USB ports of your PC. I got one from Belkin and indeed it makes the file transfer much quicker and easier. The data-transfer cable comes with its own software that will help manage the transfer of files and settings between your old and new machines. I think the software that comes with the Belkin data-transfer cable is provided by Laplink. Laplink also has its own version of the same migration tool. You can buy and download online, PCMover, a PC migration software by Laplink (a trade name) and with it comes an optional data-transfer cable that you may choose to be mailed to you after a few days. Either way, you get the same results. It’s a bit pricey at $45-$50 but it takes the guesswork out of the task of migrating files and settings between your old and new computers. I used PCMover to migrate files from my Windows XP laptop to my new Windows Vista machine. My new laptop that runs on Windows Vista does have its own utility software that can perform the migration of files but I don’t think that it migrates the settings as well. I didn’t try it because I just want to successfully migrate my files and settings in one sweep so I opted to pay for a software to do the task more easily for me. With the tool I was able to migrate 30 GB of data in six hours. The good thing about PCMover is it gives you a clear outline of what programs and files are sitting in your old computer, which ones are already existent in the new computer in a newer version, which files are candidates for transfer, which programs may not work in the new system.

All you need to do is to confirm which programs and files you want to migrate by simply selecting and deselecting. And in the event that there’s an error in the transfer, you can always go back to where you left off even in an aborted migration because whatever files you have migrated already, they will stay in the new machine. Of course, you can always undo the migration process using the same software.

I am a very impulsive person and impatient too. So what happened was when I first grabbed my new computer, I couldn’t wait to transfer my old files to the new computer and finally say “Hasta la vista” to the old one. So I went online and purchased the software that might just do an easy transfer of files. I got PCMover and paid more than $40, but they did send me a laplink (USB data-transfer cable) that arrived in the mail a few days later. One drawback with the purchase was that I wasn’t sent the unlock code right away and customer care wasn’t readily available to assist me. So I had to wait until I got the serial number through an e-mail before I was able to fully utilize the software capabilities. This software does what it promises to do and it’s easy for the average computer user. You can even download a trial version of this software but it doesn’t migrate your settings to the new computer. So what’s the relevance? Sometimes you want to keep the same look of your desktop and all other settings that are carried out at startup. If you use only the trial version, you can only transfer some programs and files and your settings are left out. But if you really don’t need to keep the old settings then just make use of the trial version.

So here are a few points to note if you are thinking about migrating your programs, files and settings from your old PC to a new one. (Or even if you are not.)

1. If you just got a new PC chances are you got the better ones with dual processors and probably with a Windows Vista operating system. If you have a computer that runs on Windows Vista, it comes with a utility that helps you migrate files but not settings from your old computer to a new one.

2. Before you migrate your files, decide on what method of transfer you want to use and make sure you have the necessary accessories (hardware) and the software. It is always good to plan ahead.

3. Before performing the migration process, decide on which files you want to keep and which ones you want to get rid of. In my case, I uninstalled programs that I know I will not be needing anymore. That way, I had a better view of the files and programs that will be moved to my new computer.

4. Make sure that your old system and files are free of malicious programs by first performing a system cleanup that includes running an antivirus software, a registry scanner, and an anti-spy software. You basically have to wash off the dirt from your old computer before you move your files to the new one because you don’t want to pass on the junk that’s been sitting in your old computer to your new machine.

5. Plan a good time to do the migration process knowing that it takes time to complete the process. Depending on the size of the data that need to be transferred it could take from a few hours to at least half a day to complete.

6. It also helps to do a little research before you even decide on which software to use to successfully migrate your files.

7. You always get what you pay for. If you get your software for free, the migration process maybe a little bit more challenging and painstaking. Have a good supply of patience and perseverance.

8. If you want an easy pass with not much mental work on how to do the migration process then be ready to pay with real hard cash for a software than can make the process headache free.

9. If you want to do away with the migration process, hire the geek squad. Stores like BestBuy offer a service wherein they do all the work for you when you purchase your new computer, and of course it’s at an additional cost to you.

10. If you are not even ready to get rid of your old computer yet, well, lucky for you. You’ll save a lot of cash. But you’ll have more wait times in front of your computer that could really be frustrating and probably you’ll speed up only one thing by dealing with your old sluggish computer—your aging process.

So it’s about time for an upgrade. Be a geek. But be a happy geek. Get it?

Sunday, December 02, 2007

SAMSUNG SUPPORT: Are You Kidding Me?

I called up Samsung technical support at 1-800-SAMSUNG because I needed to get additional information after I have exhausted all measures that were provided on their SAMSUNG support site.

I was gladly forwarded to a technical support engineer and the conversation that transpired went a little like this.

TSE: Can I have your first and last name?

Me: Mao ni akong ngan.

TSE: Can I have your phone number starting with the area code first?

Me: Mao ni akong numero sa telepono.

TSE: Can I have your complete home address?

Me: Diri ko aning dapita nagpuyo.

I did provide the information that they needed (though above, I chose to playfully annoy the reader by putting a reply in a different dialect). Excuse my deviousness at times.

Anyway let me continue to the juicy part of the conversation.

TSE: What is the product?

Me: A television.

TSE: Is this your first time to get technical support?

Me: Yes.

TSE: Have you registered the product before?

Me: No.

TSE: Can I have the model number?

Me: (excitedly provided the model number)

TSE: Can you repeat that again. I could not find it. It’s not showing up.

Me: (ran my way to the back of the TV and uttered every digit in the model number as perfectly as I can)

TSE: Still I don’t see it.

Me: It’s probably because this product was purchased in the Philippines.

TSE: Wait a minute. Let me put you on hold for three to five minutes. I have to talk to my supervisor and see what we can do.

Me: (waiting for five minutes)

Then the technical support engineer came back on the line.

TSE: I’m sorry but we cannot help you with this product because we don’t support it.

Me: (I could sense my hair color was turning red). What? But this is a SAMSUNG product!

TSE: I understand Ma’am, but we don’t support your product because it was not purchased in the U.S. It doesn’t even show up in our database.

Me: (My BP just went up 3 point 14 sixteen points higher) You know what, all I want is just to get the name of a SAMSUNG authorized service center around the area where I live so I can have my TV fixed because I have basically read your FAQ and technical support on site and it didn’t help. Can you just give me a name of the closest service center?

TSE: Well, let me put you on hold for another three to five minutes. I will talk to my supervisor and see if there’s anything we can do.

Me: (waiting for another five minutes)

TSE: Ma’am we’re really sorry but we cannot provide you with any information. I suggest that you visit the SAMSUNG Philippines site and from there you can get help on what to do.

Me: (I could sense that my hair color just turned to neon red—if that color exists!) What? Are you trying to tell me to go to the SAMSUNG Philippines link, then what, I’ll have a technician from the Philippines come all the way to the U.S. to fix my 61-inch SAMSUNG DLP TV? Is that what you are suggesting?

TSE: No Ma’am, but we really cannot help you.

Me: (frustrated and furious) This is ridiculous! All I want is for you to give me a name of a service center for SAMSUNG television in California so I can call for an in-home service because as far as I know I have done the necessary steps to fix my ailing TV and has even replaced the lamp myself, and all it needs right now is a technician to come and see what’s wrong with it, and you cannot even provide me with that kind of help?

TSE: You see Ma’am we understand your concern but that’s not the way our system works. We have to input the correct model number so we can do the next step and your model number is not even in our database.

Me: BYE! (ended a totally futile undertaking…)

See? The best products are not necessarily the best buys that you can get these days because no matter how good a product is, if it’s not backed by a good technical support system, it’s useless. I tell you, it’s horrible when you paid thousands of dollars for a product and as soon as it stops working you’re left alone to solve your dilemma. It sucks, big time. Can you imagine a woman servicing a huge TV with kilovolts of fatal stored electricity inside just because the technical support department considers it a mortal sin to namedrop a service center for the product? And I tell you the product that I was seeking support for is not even a region-exclusive product, meaning, it’s not intended for Asian region use only because unlike typical televisions, that TV has a voltage rating that ranges between 100v-240v and it even automatically adapts to the voltage supply of the household. Otherwise it would have been stupid of us to ship that TV from one corner of the globe to another and would have been equally stupid to seek support for the product in the U.S.

Well to the SAMSUNG tech support in the U.S., get this. I will not have my TV repaired. I’ll just get a new one and I’ll make sure it’s not a SAMSUNG.